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Husband : You will never succeed in making that dog obey you.
Wife : Nonsense. Its's only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with you too.


Husband: Why do you need a divorce ? I have done nothing to you
Wife : That's exactly why I need need it.


Q: Is there any similarity between dinosaurs and decent girls ?
A : Both don't' exist.

James: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday ?
John: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again.

You know you are old when.......you and your teeth don't sleep together


Q: What do men have common with ceramic tiles ?
A : Fix them once and you can walk all over them forever !!!

Boy: My ex-girlfriend's status on Facebook says: "Standing on the edge of a bridge..."
Friend : So what did you comment ?
Boy: Nothing, I just poked her !!!

Judge : How old are you ?
George : 30
Judge : According to your birth certificate you are not 30 but 45
George : I'm not counting the last 15 years I spent with my wife. You call that a life ????

Julia : Had you been my husband, I would have poisoned your drink.
James : Had you been my wife, I would have drunk it.


Dad:Son,what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it


Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus
Bus Conductor: The older one should sit.
Both looked at each other and the seat remained empty.


Q: What is love?
A :An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage


Teacher : Amy, what do you call the outside of a tree ?
Student : No idea, Miss
Teacher told angrily : Bark, Amy
Amy: Bow Wow Wow, Miss !!!


A father yelling at his toddler who refused to sit still in the shopping cart " if you fall and break
you leg don't come running to me."


Q: Which is the laziest mountain ?
A : Ever-rest


John: Wikipedia was down on Wednesday.
Peter : Thank God, I had bought the hardback version of Wikipedia !!!


True Bravery : 
Coming late to office, hair colored with a mobile in hand and boss in office
staring at you .... You say , "Dude, next time don't' wait for me to start work"


Traffic cop: Didn't you hear my whistle, Madam?
Female driver : Yes. I don't like flirting while I'm driving 


Q: What do girls mean when they say, I'am sorry?
A: You'll be sorry !!!

Doctor : Have you ever fainted before ?
Patient: Yes, the last time you told me your fees


Q: What is the height of secrecy ? 
A : Giving blank visiting cards


Edison had rightly said " A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer" 
That's why most of us are speechless during a viva exam.


Q: Why can't women read maps ?
A: Because only male mind can understand the concept of one inch equals a mile.

 Q: Why do women ask so many questions ?
 A : Because they have an extra why chromosome

Teacher: If I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand,what would I have?
 John : Huge hands, sir !!!! 

Q : How do you know you are getting old ?
 A : You start having dry dreams ...









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